Slapp Happy Says: Desperate Hoe Bags

At first, my thought of DH was that—Housewives who were desperate for adventure and sex with other men other than their husbands. Apparently, you would think that they were doing a soft-core pornographic show available on National TV. But, after watching the show from Season 1 to Season 6, I can see why it is so hugely popular. The show is a dramedy: a combination of comedy and drama, two things everyone thought should stay separate, but put them together and you have what they call a pretty good show.


The show focuses around several of the women who live on a street where they wear the pants in any and all situation. More and more, the men on the show start growing a pair of balls and actually settle things domestically.

The first one is Susan Meyer, portrayed by Terry Hatcher, you know, the one who got fucked then killed in Tomorrow Never Dies and was in love with Superman in the New Advntures of Lois and Clark? Anyway, she plays a character that was married to a womanizer and then falls in love with a plumber. She somehow drags the attention to her. What I mean by drag is that she always places the spotlight on herself so that drama can find her.

The second one is Bree Van de Camp/Hodge, played by the stern Marcia Cross, is an OCD individual who tries not to show her emotions except through alcohol. Yay beer! Anyway, she was married to a doctor for almost 20 years when he cheated on her and died by his associate’s hand for Bree. Somehow, all the crazy men on this show run to her and nestle her. She marries a second time to a dentist who is now in wheel chair due to a fight with Susan’s ex-husband. Oh, the complications of adult drama!

The third one is Lynette Scavo, played by actress Felicity Huffman, is a tough and all out with fists and wits in the show. Not only do she and her husband have a huge family, but they are still together. You would think that her husband would walk out for being too controlled by his wife when he agrees with her on every single thing. She has given birth to five children, and you have to wonder whether or not they are Greek. She loves her husband very much and so does he. Ahhh! True love.

The fourth one is Gabrielle Solis, a bit of bitch played by the ever so beautiful Latino actress Eva Longoria Parker. She always brings others down by her smart remarks and rude behavior, but always comes back saying I’m sorry from the bottom of her heart. She is married to a rich guy, cheats on him, gets a divorce, goes broke, gets married to the mayor, becomes a widow, gets married to the rich guy, has two kids broke, and now is a mom with richness. So now, she went from rich bitch to richy bitchy in seven seasons.

The fifth is Edie Brit, played by Nicollette Sheridan, is portrayed as the whore of Wisteria Lane. Every guy she sees she sleeps with, and has some sort of rivalry with Susan Meyer for the plumber. She is married three times before dying in the fifth season, due to her third husband’s plan. She became part of the circle of friends later but was still considered a slut. In the series, she has a son named Travis, who is now in college.

The sixth being Katherine Mayfair, another red-head who goes from secretive to crazy, played by Dana Delany. She was Susan’s best friend and returns to the lane with a secret that happened years ago. She likes the plumber, and loses it when he marries Susan and then ultimately loses it when she became a lesbian. I actually had to search for her names on Google because, I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember the bitch’s name.

The seventh housewife who replaces Katherine is Renee Perry, played by Vanessa Williams. I was surprised to see her join DH, mainly because I haven’t seen her act since The Odyssey and Johnson Family Vacation. She comes to Lynette’s house from New York, in which she is married to New York Yankee star, and asks to stay awhile. You can immediately tell that she was either divorced or has separated from the baseball player just by how she acted. Yippee for mysteriousness.

The show has a good atmosphere to present to the audience: good cast, good storyline, great comedy, and of course, the cliffhangers and constant confusion. I like a show that keeps something cleverly hidden until its revealed and then you gasp in terror when the secret is out, rather than seeing the shadowed person or topic at hand, which V failed to do so and so did No Ordinary Family. I guess DH is staying on air for awhile, and it’s not going anywhere. I can guess that people are going to feel the same way they did when FRIENDS left the TV screen: blubbering for forty bloody days!